If the first rule to surving in Zombieland is “Cardio” then the second rule is “Answer the question: What would Reagan do?”
I recently saw the movie Zombieland. As a relatively well-educated and sophisticated young person, I have come to the informed and deliberate conclusion that Zombieland is a freaking kick-ass piece of cinematic achievement.
I walked out of the theater basking in a warm glow of adrenaline and testosterone (despite my lip gloss and affinity for men).
That movie got me more amped up than Ronald Regan driving a monster truck across a red, white, and blue football field in Texas.
If Zombieland was an actor, it’d be Charlton Heston. If Zombieland was a president, it’d be the Decider. If Zombieland were a baby, it’d be the love child of Jack Bauer and Chuck Norris.
And you know what else? Zombieland is as conservative as Ronald Regan driving a monster truck across a red, white, and blue football field in Texas.
There are three specific reasons why (and the fact that the star, Woody Harrelson was arrested for marijuana possession during filming isn’t one of them but you can make of that what you will.)
3) On going theme of self reliance.
While it’s true that the film’s main characters join up in the movie, the idea of a barren post-apocalyptic ghost-town overrun with mindless flesh eaters promotes a very key theme – looking out for “number one” in a world of solitude.
There is no government to bail them out of a tight corner when they’re about to be consumed by a soccer-mom-turned-rottening-reanimated-hungry-corpse (which, by the way, is the reason I switched to basketball in the junior high).
The young, seemingly vulnerable Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) develops an intricate list of rules. He isn’t tough or s t r o n g o r brave or m a n l y or…The guy’s a wimp, okay. But he survives on his own based on the list of rules to follow. Tallahassee (Harrelson), the loose-cannon, self-appointed Zombie hunter takes an offensive approach fighting his way through the new world he finds himself in.
Each get by for an indeterminable time, solely on their own. This idea is uniquely conservative or Libertarian. Though commerce and the market has broken down, the characters survive of the sweat of their own brow.
2) Success is based on personal merit and individualism.
As indicated above, the main characters all have their personal talents.
Tallahassee even remarks, “My mother always told me ‘someday, you’ll be good at somethin’.’ I mean, I don’t think she coulda guessed that thing’d be zombie killin’.”
It is this knack for “zombie killin’ that makes the eldest character successful in Zombieland. Likewise, Columbus’ careful list of “rules” are emblematic of his caution and a well-developed thought process.
Techniques like the “double-tap” save him on several occasions. After all, when fighting zombies, you have to make sure they’re dead. Shoot them twice in the head.
Their unique talents help them rise above the pack unlike people without strong individual skills and talents. As Columbus recalls in the film, “When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go… were the fatties.”
Again conservative. Though it’s liberals who have a prejudice against “fatties” (tax on soft drinks, anyone?), conservatives’ whole life principle rests on this individual spirit and not making sacrifices for those who do not celebrate that individualism.
Both Columbus and Tallahassee have very different skill sets. Tallahassee isn’t as smart as Columbus and Columbus is not as tough as Tallahassee but each are able to live in Zombieland.
It is a clear metaphor.
1) Baseless idealism is never rewarded.
All that being said, it is important to note the Pacific Playland was a little bit of a fiasco. According to the two female leads (Emma Stone as Wichita and Abigail Breslin as Little Rock), Pacific Playland, a generic amusement park is the last zombie-free region on the planet. Their evidence? Warm, happy fuzzy feelings.
This is liberalism at it’s finest. Ideas like “saving” nature and offering endless entitlements would be wonderful if possible but there are rarely substantial pieces of evidence to back up the plan. Such is the case with the sisters’ plan to spend the rest of their existence on a roller coaster. Naturally the plan – much like social security – falls through.
While conservatives (like all four main characters) always have something to work for. Freedom – not even from zombies – will fall into a person’s lap.
The idealism of Pacific Playland leaves the sisters needing to be saved and coddled by other, apparently more capable and competent surviros. Bonus) Guns, Hummers, and Twinkies
Need I say more?